Medical professional’s power to help or not help.
The power of or lack of COMPASSION.
Laura Herrera
Dec 26, 2020· 10 min read
Photo by Marcelo Leal on Unsplash
Hi my name is Laura Herrera and I went through a chronic debilitating disease for 11 years called Endometriosis. It took me years of being in and out of ERs, hospitals, multiple doctor offices/testing facilities, and having multiple failed treatments/surgeries to finally being treated successfully in rooting out the disease in the last two surgeries by a sought after world specialist. Over time, however, this all included being in front of a multitude of: doctors, nurses, surgeons, anesthesiologists, front desk workers, office managers, phlebotomists, x-ray technicians, ultrasound technicians, hospital billing associates, collection billers, insurance claim specialists, insurance appeal boards, etc. and the list goes on and on. I think I’ve met with almost every kind of person that works in the medical field possible. Can I tell you the one thing that has the most power to break or bring a moment of healing and peace in a multitude of situations in which someone is going through pain and suffering? That one thing is COMPASSION.
Just typing out everything above seems overwhelming for me to look at and remember. Anytime someone is going through something long term medically- it affects all areas of their life. This doesn’t just include their physical health, but their mental and emotional health also. It affects their self-image, their relationships with their family and friends, their finances, their emotions bouncing back and forth between hope and despair.
Do you know one of the most painful things a person who is going through something long term medically is facing? Not feeling heard or understood. It’s crushing to the soul when you are going through something you don’t understand other than you know your body and you know something is not right. You bounce back and forth with hope and hopelessness and or are made to feel by others like you are either a lost cause or you should just accept that this is your life.
When your body is attacking itself in some kind of way- taking on attacks from the outside world crushes you down even further.
I have been made to feel horrible by people in the medical field from time to time by their words and actions towards me.
Now that’s one end of the spectrum. I can also say the most BEAUTIFUL thing a person can receive while going through something long term medically is RECEIVING COMPASSION.
I have also received kindness and love from strangers and medical professionals that I will never forget.
In those moments: I felt human.
When your body attacks itself or when you are going through symptoms that no one understands, you don’t feel human in your own body. I can’t tell you how important and how even just for a moment when I was treated with dignity, respect, compassion and sincerity -how those moments were moments of healing for me. Even if in those moments, it didn’t take the disease away from me- it did take away some of the pain and suffering. It did add love to my situation. It did add a sense of peace and a calm that money can’t buy.
When I was met with someone that wanted to help. It gave me the strength to keep fighting. It gave me a sense of purpose to keep trying and seeking help. It helped me feel like my voice was heard even if I didn’t speak any words, but the person knew I was in pain and responded with compassion.
I’ve had a few experiences that still to this day bring tears to my eyes just thinking about them.
I’ve had a male nurse in the ER ask me if I was able to walk to the bathroom- as I tried my hardest to stand up while weak and my body going through shock from once again being in debilitating pain and vomiting over 15 times. I had no strength whatsoever as my head and now gray-skinned body fall limp stop me from trying to get out of the bed. He then said, “No we are not even going to try this anymore, I’m going to get you a portable toilet.” He comes back and lets me rest my entire limp body on him and he picks me up and places me on the toilet. My body was in so much pain at the moment and there was no strength in my bones. And for a moment I was embarrassed, but as I sat there and small tears rolled down my eyes I felt like I was shown dignity. This was not the first time I had been in the ER for the same thing. Many times before I had been able to walk to the bathroom and sometimes not. The times I had not- I was always given a bedpan. I absolutely hated that-but I would accept it as a must because I lacked the strength to walk. It was still however, humiliating each time. But this time it was different- this time someone had done something different for me. This time I was brought a toilet and was helped to be able to use that toilet. I felt like I was given a moment to feel human. I will never forget the compassion in that man’s eyes and tone of his voice and his actions of helping me on that portable toilet.
I can think of one ultrasound technician who asked me my story as she took the images (the disease I went through takes place in the female organs and it affected many of my organs as the disease bound many of organs together) and I was met with kind words and she told me she was so sorry I was going through this disease. I only can recall a few times that someone other than a doctor asked me my story. I can’t tell you how in those moments it helped me feel compassion.
One of my biggest moments I will never forget is the day after my last surgery. I was hardly able to walk due to the incision and post surgery pain in the stomach area. She came in for the first time that morning and introduced herself and had such a peaceful aura about her. She didn’t say much other than she was going to get me out of bed to take a bath. At that moment I said ok, but it wasn’t until she started helping me out of bed that I questioned, “How is this going to work, I can hardly walk due to the pain of the incision and surgery.” I didn’t say no though, because I felt so gross in my own body and knew a bath would make me feel better. She then slowly helped me into the bathroom in my room as I cringed and grimaced in pain. Every small painful step I took, I still questioned, “How am I going to shower when I get in there? I can’t stand on my own. How is this going to work?” When we finally made it into the bathroom she guided me to the toilet. She hardly spoke, but again there was just a peaceful aura around her. I also hardly spoke because I was in so much pain. She then helped me take off my clothes. I had never been fully naked in front of a nurse before, but in that moment I didn’t care and I didn’t feel embarrassed for some reason. I then realized she was going to help me bathe. Something I hadn’t realized was going to happen. She then grabbed a towel and placed soap and water on it. As I sat there exposed, vulnerable, helpless, tired, emotionally drained, physically spent -I welcomed her assistance because I couldn’t do it on my own. That nurse didn’t know my story. She didn’t know the years of debilitating pain and suffering I went through before that surgery. She didn’t know the countless doctors I went through or ER visits, or multiple failed treatments, or that I had traveled 8 hours from home to be there for this surgery (this being the second time in 9 months), that I had to take out a personal loan just to have the surgery. She didn’t ask questions, she was just physically there for me. As she bathed me and washed me with a cloth as I sat on a toilet in pain from surgery- with every stroke of that soapy cloth, I internally was healing. Broken pieces inside were mending. All the times I was either pushed away or said mean things to, or met with opposition from medical workers- it all disappeared even in just that fleeting moment. I remember thinking to myself, “Who could choose a profession where they have to wipe those that can’t wipe themselves? Could I do that? I don’t think I could-that takes a special beautiful selfless heart.”
I want to speak to all of those selfless hearts that chose to be in the medical world helping others who can’t help themselves.
Someone is coming to you for help in a situation where they feel helpless. For example, if you work at a hospital in the ER department; this person may be here because they can’t take the pain anymore or the symptoms anymore. Just being there with a compassionate heart goes a long way to someone that has been suffering. Not being compassionate can make someone who is going through a chronic disease feel like, “What’s the point in reaching out to the medical field to be made to feel like this is all my fault once again?” Show compassion and you will help take away some of the sufferings at that moment.
Medical Definition of a patient according to medicinenet.com https://www.medicinenet.com/patient/definition.htm
Patient: A person under health care. The person may be waiting for this care or maybe receiving it or may have already received it.
It is diversely defined as, for examples:
A person who requires medical care.
A person under a physician’s care for a particular disease or condition.
A person who is waiting for or undergoing medical treatment and care
An individual who is receiving needed professional services that are directed by a licensed practitioner of the healing arts toward maintenance, improvement, or protection of health or lessening of illness, disability, or pain. (US Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services)
Did any of the above strike or surprise you? The phrase receiving care popped out at me.
If you work at a doctor’s office and or if you are the doctor this person finds themselves attending next; compassion goes a long way. This person may have gone through waves of hopelessness over the years etc. Showing compassion that you want to hear their story and try your best to fit their needs; being as basic as -office filing with a kind heart or being the doctor that shows you are interested in their case and will do your best to treat them- can mean the world to them. Many times, people have gone from doctor to doctor trying to find someone that will listen to them, understand medically what they are going through and not make them feel like they are crazy or that things are just in their head. The power of a medical professional is huge.
The first time I met my current doctor- (who must have been around my tenth doctor I went to seeking help for the disease) I was met with a listening ear, a compassionate and understanding heart, and I was made to feel like my case and what I was going through mattered. I hadn’t been made to feel that way by any prior doctor. He has stayed consistent in his care and treatment with me. This has been priceless to me and life-giving.
If you are a medical professional, you may be asking, “How can I help, How can I show compassion?”
Well, I want you to ask yourself a few questions first.
Why did I get into this profession in the first place?
What was my original why?
What was my mission?
What are some of my current callouses in my heart?
How did they get there?
Is that fair to those around me and those I treat or take care of to feel the pain from something they didn’t do.
How would I like to be treated if I was in another person’s position receiving care?
Mindsets that can help you with every patient that you see.
Tell yourself these things from another person’s point of view. The patient’s point of view:
“Hear me- Don’t see me as the disease or what you’ve studied. Hear what I’m telling you so you can help me.”
“I am a human being with feelings. I don’t understand what is going on inside of me. Please ask me questions that may help me open up more about what I’m going through.”
“I am someone that has gone through a lot, please be there for me with a compassionate heart.”
“I have been met by many that have made me feel rushed or pushed to the side, please show me I am worth your time.”
“I have been made to feel by medical professionals from time to time that I am a bother, can you take the time to see that I am a human being and no case is the same.”
To every medical professional out there, I want to first thank you for choosing your field of choice and I want to encourage you to keep changing the world even if it’s just with one person at a time.
A quote that has stuck with me:
“You cannot change the world, but you can change someone’s world.”
-Anonymous.
What are your thoughts on this? For the medical professionals, what are a few stories where you have shown compassion? For patients, what are a few stories where you have been shown compassion?